“In fact, in our schools, even older children, those three or four-years old, after finishing an exercise will put the things they have used back in place. It is one of the most pleasant and spontaneous tasks they perform. Order consists in recognizing the place for each object in relation to its environment and in remembering where each thing should be. This implies that one is able to orient one’s self within one’s environment and to dominate it in all its details. The proper environment of the soul is one in which an individual can move about with eyes closed and find, simply by reaching out his hand, anything he desires. Such an environment is necessary for peace and happiness.”

Maria Montessori. The Secret of Childhood. Chapter 8, page 52.

Today I took a break from sitting in the Practical Life lectures of WSMS so I could work on organizing our living room. After school closed for good, teachers were encouraged to bring whatever we needed from school home, so I brought home a lot of materials and whatever I thought I could use for homeschooling Joule next year. After several tiring trips back to school to pack, luckily we were able to borrow my father-in-law’s car to haul more stuff home. Then we had to figure out how to keep all the materials. Initially I considered renting a storage unit nearby but I don’t really want to add recurring costs to our life, so we decided to get IKEA Pax closets for our living room, with bins for organization inside.

Growing up, I did not really develop the best sense of order because I always had more than enough space to put my stuff in, and we had helpers at home to assist in picking up after ourselves. Now that I’m raising my own child, in a New York City apartment while I’m training to be a Montessori teacher, I need to set a better example. Catherine McTamaney’s blog post from today talks about it so eloquently.

My husband went to a Montessori preschool when he was young and his sense of order and habit of putting things back in their proper place is stronger. I’ve always aspired to be tidier, and now I really have a compelling reason to do it. If I don’t get better at picking up after myself right away, Joule will be exactly the same.

I’m grateful for Joule’s grandparents, who are taking care of her while my husband and I do this major home project. It would be close to impossible to do it while she’s here. Joule is turning three soon, so I want to make sure that our apartment is a calm, peaceful environment where she can be a contributing member of the household. We still have more work to do in her room, like creating more floor space by switching to a trundle bed, so hopefully, we get it done in time for her birthday. She still cosleeps with us, and perhaps with her room all fixed up she will want to sleep there by herself.

The title quote is from Raffi Cavoukian’s Covenant for Honouring Children. I first learned about him through his children’s songs, then I followed him on Twitter and saw that he did a lot more work centered on championing children’s rights and climate change. The quote is also used in the book from the National Association for the Education of Young Children titled “Anti-Bias Education for Young Children and Ourselves” by Louise Derman-Sparks and Julie Olsen Edwards.

The recent coronavirus pandemic and worldwide Black Lives Matter protests against police brutality and systemic racism have really made me examine my privilege and explore anti-racism resources. I started reading “So You Want to Talk About Race” by Ijeoma Oluo and need to keep on learning how to be anti-racist and anti-bias.

Here are the four core goals of anti-bias education, according to Derman-Sparks and Edwards:

1. Each child will demonstrate self-awareness, confidence, family pride, and positive social identities.
2. Each child will express comfort and joy with human diversity; accurate language for human differences; and deep caring human connections.
3. Each child will increasingly recognize unfairness, have language to describe unfairness, and understand that unfairness hurts.
4. Each child will demonstrate empowerment and the skills to act, with others or alone, against prejudice and/or discriminatory actions.

During one of our Philosophy classes, we did an exercise where we examined our individual identities and affiliations with groups to see which one we felt most influenced by, and how might that affect us as teachers. I realized that being a mother has become my most dominant identity, and that my brief return to the paid workforce gave me a new identity and community affiliation, which then disappeared when our school shut down. We are all a product of our family, experiences and environment, so for me to list down who I am according to the roles I play and places I have lived gives me a clearer picture of why I act or think a particular way, and why other people won’t share my views.

I highly recommend both the books I mentioned above and would love to discuss it further.

“It is often we who obstruct the child, and so become responsible for anomalies that last a lifetime. Always must our treatment be gentle as possible, avoiding violence, for we easily fail to realize how violent and hard we are being. We have to watch ourselves most carefully. The real preparation for education is a study of one’s self. The training of the teacher who is to help life is something far more than a learning of ideas. It includes the training of character; it is a preparation of the spirit.”

Maria Montessori. The Absorbent Mind. Ch.12,p131.

This quote was shared in one of our Philosophy lectures and it’s worth posting up here because of all the inner work, unlearning, reparenting, etc. that I feel like I still need to do, aside from the acquisition of early childhood education knowledge. I spent 6 years of my life studying business administration, which will always be useful to me and has trained my mind to think within certain frameworks, but it’s still a little early to be teaching Joule about balance sheets and accounting. At least my culinary and yoga training is easily transferred to practical life and movement lessons for my 3 year old. She already knows to say, “Take a deep breath! Calm down!”, when I’m feeling upset. Emotional regulation is one of the skills many adults still struggle with, so getting comfortable with dealing with strong emotions and working towards cultivating self-awareness is one way I can become a better teacher.

This was taken during one of my first Early Childhood Montessori teacher training sessions at West Side Montessori School (WSMS) in the fall of 2019. I decided on a career change after I gave birth because I knew that I wouldn’t be returning to a restaurant kitchen after staying at home to take care of my infant. Most of my family members have taught professionally at some point in their lives, so it made sense for me to add early childhood education to my resume. WSMS is located in the same neighborhood I first lived in when I moved to New York, so the subway rides going there always feel nostalgic.

I started Montessori training at the same time I began working at a Montessori school downtown, where my daughter was able to attend as well. Unfortunately, it closed for good after this school year ended due to the pandemic. We were lucky to be a part of that community and I am grateful for the time I spent observing and guiding toddlers. It was such a gift to learn from experienced teachers, while being able to still be present for my 2 year old.

I’m committing to writing more about my Montessori journey for myself, so someday I can look back and see what my transformation was like. I’d rather post on my personal blog than on social media platforms because of my mixed feelings of their business decisions. Maria Montessori was an advocate of peace and if she lived today I’m assuming she would have strongly expressed her views against the promotion of violence that is being allowed to reach more people online.

I’ll be sharing passages from books I’m reading for teacher training and my thoughts about it. I’ll post about my challenges making our tiny NYC apartment a better environment for my toddler. I’ll write my observations and work preparation. Self reflection is important for teachers so I need to work on that practice daily.

Thanks for reading!

“The teacher becomes the keeper and custodian of the environment. She attends to this instead of being distracted by the children’s restlessness. From this will come healing, and the attraction that captures and polarizes the child’s will. In our countries, where each wife has her own home, the wife tries to make the home as attractive as possible for herself and her husband. Instead of giving her whole attention to him, she gives much also to the house, so as to make surroundings in which a normal and constructive life can flourish. She tries to make the home a place of comfort and peace, with full and varied interests. The essential charm of a house is its cleanliness and order, with everything in its place, dusted, bright and cheerful. She makes this her first consideration. The teacher in the school must not do otherwise. All the apparatus is to be kept meticulously in order, beautiful and shining, in perfect condition. Nothing may be missing, so that to the child it always seems new, complete and ready for use. This means that the teacher also must be attractive, pleasing in appearance, tidy and clean, calm and dignified. These are ideals that each can realize in her own way, but let us always remember, when we present ourselves before children, that they are “of the company of the elect.” The teacher’s appearance is the first step to gaining the child’s confidence and respect. The teacher should study her own movements, to make them as gentle and graceful as possible. The child of this age idealizes his mother. We may not know what kind of woman she is, but we often hear a child say when he sees a pretty woman, “How lovely she is–just like my mummy!” Quite possibly, the mother is not at all beautiful, but she is so to the child, and everyone he admires is, to him, as beautiful as she. So, care for one’s own person must form part of the environment in which the child lives; the teacher herself is the most vital part of his world.”

Maria Montessori. The Absorbent Mind. p. 276

This passage from “The Absorbent Mind” is one that I reread often because she mentions the expectations for the teacher’s appearance and demeanor. I’m also reminded of how gender roles were set during her time. It’s not surprising that today, decades after she wrote this book, expectations of women have stayed mostly the same. My Montessori teacher training cohort is 100% female.

My most important takeaway from this passage is that self-care is the foundation of being a teacher and a parent, and without regular check-ins with myself, it is so easy to go on auto-pilot and slide into zombie mode. Raising a young child is difficult enough, add Covid-19 into the mix and it just feels like parents are under constant stress. Cleaning and tidying up is endless and reframing it as meditation helps me feel better about having to do it all the time.

“It often happens that, in obedience to a set program of studies, a teacher is obliged to hustle on his pupils to reach a certain attainment by a certain date. His eyes, and therefore those of his pupils, too, are fixed on the future; and the whole atmosphere becomes one of forward-looking tension. This is a mistake: because, though the sensitive period is a “period of power,” i.e., the power of acquiring certain cognitions with a special facility, speed, thoroughness, it is a present power, and will not last forever. Therefore, in order to make the fullest use of it we must let the child live wholly in the present, using the wonderful gifts of the present.”

E.M, Standing. Maria Montessori: Her Life and Work. p.140 

I miss the prepared environment of school and worry about how to meet Joule’s needs at home. I miss being around other students and teachers. I feel lonely sometimes, even in the company of my family so I know Joule misses her classmates too.

It looks like I will most probably be homeschooling Joule throughout the next school year, when she is 3 years old. I’m still in the process of completing my Early Childhood Montessori credential and was supposed to do one year of practice teaching in a primary classroom but with everything that’s going on; the Covid-19 pandemic still active and the school I worked at closing, staying home for the long haul seems to be the most prudent choice to make for our family.

However, staying alive and healthy during this time is my most important goal. I am devastated for all the families who have lost loved ones because of the coronavirus outbreak, and as a parent of a young child, I am so scared of getting sick and not being able to care for my daughter. The average age of new infections seem to trend younger, and with our city trying to get back to normal, I fear that it will become the epicenter again.

My challenge for the next couple of weeks is transforming our living room to become more of a home learning environment for her. I have to figure out what works for us in our small space and make do with what we have. It’s tricky because coming from a classroom environment, I’ve seen how the physical space is such a big factor in the child’s behavior, so attempting to replicate that at home can be frustrating. I’m going to be as kind to myself and manage my expectations of this process and of Joule’s behavior. I’ll let both of us try our best to be fully present during this time.